I think that the devil is trying to distract me from God calling us back to Malawi. I am so excited to be back, and have been looking forward to taking off for a long time. But being here in Seattle has been challenging. We love our friends here so much, and miss being a part of this community...it is so tempting to stay and settle down. I think that the urge to settle down is even stronger now that we have Elijah. As well, we haven't quite had our own home since this time last year.
I have really been holding fast to the truth which is: God is my shelter, my comfort, my home. I take refuge in Him. In Him and Him only will I find true peace and rest.
And so, even when I feel left out, even when I miss my friends and family, even when I am living out of a suitcase, am always home when I am trusting in the Lord and spending time with Him. I want to be more concerned with the growth of God's kingdom then with my current living situation. I want to joyfully obey God when He calls me to far away places. None of these things that I miss are worth holding onto, because through Him, I gain hope in Christ and that has been the greatest blessing ever offered. Keeping my things and being a part of everything here is not worth losing that.
All that said, please pray for me, because my heart is fickle and my desires waver. I am not consistent, and know that I will soon wish I was back here in just a few months. I want a heart that is joyfully obedient.
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2 comments:
I'm showing off Elijah to my family. I can't wait to meet him. It feels hard to go back to Malawi for me too, but it helps knowing that I'll be able to see people I haven't seen in a long time- like you guys! PS: We're so close now- only like 3 hours apart- crazy!
just wanted to offer a little encouragement to you~ we have soo treasured your time here! your eli is amazing & we are so blessed that you have shared him with us...your presence has sweetly reminded us of times past, though as you said last night, "times are a changin!" through the Lord's provision of faith, we are confidant in the course He has forged for your family as a part of his purposes in africa. i will be praying for your tangled heart strings (and ours too!) and know that He will cradle you in Africa as he does here in our midst.
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