A visit to the babies at MOH

One of the hardest things for me this year has been transitioning from a free woman who is involved in so much to being a mom who can't participate in most things because of nap times. Of course I love my little guy and wouldn't trade any experience in the world for him. However, I have really missed my time with those babies at the nursery this year. Earlier in the year, it was difficult to get over there as I would usually try to leave Eli at home. That way, I could actually hold the babies and help feed them. Now that Elijah is older, I take him with me when the timing works out. He loves playing with the babies.

We are having a big sale this Saturday, so I've been sorting through all of our things. Eli and I got his clothes and blankets together that he doesn't need anymore and we headed to the nursery. When we got there, the babies were all still waking up from their afternoon naps except for one. The radio was blaring with African music and the one lonely little baby, Eli and I danced for a good 15 minutes. Then we started hearing the babies calling to us, so we decided to go rescue them from their cribs.

I know you've heard a lot about MOH, but I want to ask you to pray for them right now. I really believe that it is an important work. I was talking with the administrator yesterday, and she told me they have only received $400 that month. That is half of what they need in order to fully function as a nursery for 20 babies. The last few months have been really hard financially, and they have had to reject a few babies bringing their number down to 16. Quite frankly, this makes me mad. All they need is $800 a month! This nursery provides food, medicine, clothing, love and attention to babies who have been abandoned, whose mothers have died during child birth and whose families absolutely cannot care for them. It is a CRISIS nursery for families and babies in CRISIS!

Could there be anything more important to spend our money on??? Well, maybe. I cannot really be the judge of that. I only wanted to remind you that this place exists. These babies are real. Their needs are real and much more important than that new bathing suit, food processor or IPod accessory you were hoping to shop for this month. Believe me, I have a long list of things I want to buy once back in the states, most of them are wants, not needs. I want to challenge you all again this week to actually NOT buy something for yourself, but instead send the money to MOH crisis nursery. They are truly in need. If I have learned one thing here in Malawi, it would be that God didn't bless me in America so that I can live comfortably and overindulge. He blesses us so that we can be a blessing to others. There are so many opportunities to do this, but I am asking that this month, you would choose to bless these babies.

Thank you for considering this challenge. I know that God cares for these babies and will provide for them in His timing with great care and gentleness. Please remember to pray for the orphans of this world, all 143 Million of them.

Church: The Good, the Bad, and the Robbins'

We came to Malawi for a few reasons; investigating our own aptitude for mission work and types of mission possibilities, to join with Jay and Laura Stoms, and to continue the partnership of the NW PCA (unofficially) with the CCAP. This last motive has really been the consuming impetus for missions in the first place. Rather than paternalism, missions in already evangelized areas is about fellowship (partnership) between churches. Or at least that is the best I can make out of it for only being out here two years.

Our friend Rev. Maxjoy Chilendeni and I

Rev. Mike Kelly, myself and 15 CCAP Ministers (including Maxjoy, two to the left from me)

Anyway, that last motive has been the most difficult and disappointing. Most of the let down has come from my high expectations; that we would have ample opportunity for involvement. Nevermind the effects or result of our involvement, I just assumed that we would be able to be involved in our local CCAP congregation.

It has been just the opposite. After attending Bwaila CCAP for about 6 months we were still no more than observers. And really there was no hope of ever becoming more than that. There may be many legitimate reasons for our inability to truly join the congregation:
- We don't speak chichewa (prayer meetings, communion and church life are all conducted in chichewa),
- I am not ordained nor do I have a high degree (these things earn you automatic respect/fear),
- At least one of us missed a good handful of sundays because Eli happened to be sleeping at the exact time, and lastly
- I don't dress spectacularly for church (it is a very appearance centered culture at times, to the point that someone might have a nice cell phone but no food, or a nice waxed car but no gas).
The other part of the equation that makes it hard is that we are only here for two years, no more. I would guess that if we continued at that congregation for 5 years things would change, as would our chichewa skills. Nonetheless we aren't long-term folks.

Beth and I in our typical Sunday outfits.... (just kidding)

Bwaila CCAP

As well, the preaching and worship has been fairly deadly. I can usually pick something worthwhile out of even a droll sermon (at least on good days). The sad thing was that the preaching was not just boring, it was heretical (health wealth to syncretistic).

The list goes on of things that were just too difficult for us. At the end of the day we looked at it all and acknowledged that we weren't going to be here forever and so might consider a different church, a non-CCAP church.

This led us to Flood, a non-denominational church plant from a church in San Diego by the same name. If you know me very well, you will know that I am fairly prickly when it comes to non-denom churches. On top of that, the parent church in San Diego is one I would rather forget exists. (All I can think of when I look at their website and hear their story is phrases like 'radical' and velcro walls....I don't know, maybe its just me.) Lastly the congregation is largely made up of expats, with a good minority of Africans. All these things combined made me hesitate.

However, after visiting a few sundays we decided we ought to meet with the pastor, Sean Kampondeni. He is an ABC graduate, and we found out, fairly reformed in his understanding of salvation and the makeup of the church. Studying Church History has done me good, teaching me of the broad makeup of believers throughout the centuries; my doctrinal positions are not the criteria (thank the Lord!!). So I felt that it was a good place for us until we leave. Beth, in her honesty and to her credit, was ready to join from the beginning. She wanted to at least be with a body of believers we can know and hear preaching that is actually biblical! So in February, we joined Flood Malawi as members.

It has been a good thing for us. The preaching week by week has been a great boon to us. Fellowship has been great. And our gardener, Happy, attends there as well which has been very cool. I am not sure how much of a blessing we have been, but it surely has for us.

That said, the church I pray for the most in Malawi is the CCAP. I long for her renewal. The other day I got a chance to look at the list of confessions and creeds they hold to, all of them are Reformed and the same ones the PCA holds to. I was deeply, deeply saddened. The CCAP has all the potential to be a powerful, rejuvenating, evangelizing, ministry force in Malawi and all of Southern Africa. Yet, it is bogged down with legitimate concerns and needs (over worked pastors, no money) as well as sad temptations and failures (unbelieving elders in almost every church, flirtation with liberal presbyterian denominations in the US in hopes of receiving funding). Really, I pray for a Johnathan Edwards-esque revival; at least on a brief survey there seems to be a great similarity between the church in his day and our beloved CCAP. If we were ever to return indefinitely, I would see to it that we were in some direct involvement/relationship with our sister church.

Nonetheless, we return home in 3 weeks. We will be visiting two CCAP congregations of our friends, and the Flood the last week. Yet we will continue to pray for the CCAP for a long time to come.

Please join with us in prayer for renewal in the CCAP, and for the ministers laboring for just that (Rev. Sam McDonald, Rev. Jay Stoms and many others).

Bingu wins again

Bingu Wa Mutharika has officially been re-elected as Malawi's president. Many people are happy about this and I think I am, too. While I was driving around yesterday, I saw this sticker:

In case you can't read it, it says "Be proud of Malawi. Peaceful Elections. YES WE CAN!"

I had seen it a few months ago, too and laughed because of how much it resembles Obama's famous "Yes we can!" line. Africans love Obama, so much so that they actually have an Obama chitenje.


When I saw it yesterday, after the elections have come and gone, I was actually encouraged by it. Obama says "yes we can" to change. What kinds of change, I am not quite sure about. I don't remember him being too specific. It seems to me like Obama wants to change everything and anything, perhaps the world, which is a little too idealistic for me. Attempting to change everything may not be a good thing, maybe it will....who knows. Malawians know that their government isn't perfect. They know that Bingu isn't perfect. They also know that it cannot be perfect, not in this life time. They just wanted to have peaceful elections unlike so many of their neighboring countries. They set a reasonable goal and encouraged their people to meet that goal. I am thankful for the Malawian people and for their peaceful nation.

Although America is peaceful in theory, during our elections people can get pretty rough with each other. I was in the the Academy staff lounge this week talking about politics with some co-workers. They disagreed completely and voted for different people, but always were polite and even laughing with each other during their debate. America could learn something from Malawi.

Guilt & Prayer

This week has been a hard one and this morning it got harder. I have felt guilty and somewhat responsible for some sad things that have happened.
On Monday, Christina (our babysitter) came to our house to watch Elijah but said she was feeling sick. She felt feverish with a headache. There is a flu type thing going around that Dan just had and I thought maybe that she had caught it from him. I gave her some medicine for her headache and told her to go home and call me in the morning. The next morning, she said she was feeling much better, so she came to work. Then on Wednesday, she showed up early saying she felt very ill. I told her to go to the clinic for a Malaria test. I don't know why I didn't have her go on Monday. I felt horrible later that afternoon when I went to the clinic to visit her. She had been there for 2 hours taking tests and waiting for her medication. Sure enough, she has plus 3 Malaria (plus 4 is the worst and very dangerous). I was very thankful that we caught it before it got to plus 4, but I still felt so stupid for not taking her to the clinic on Monday. She lives in a village and although we gave her nets earlier this year, it is still very easy to get Malaria in the area she lives.
Please pray for her as she has 2 girls to take care of. As well, her sister in law, Agnes has been put back in jail at Maula Prison. I don't quite understand the whole story, but the case wasn't closed and there are still a few things that have to be figured out. I just feel frustrated and sad and somewhat guilty that Christina is sick and has all of these huge burdens that I', afraid she is carrying alone.

The second thing I feel guilty and sad about it Happy. As I have mentioned before, Happy has a wife and a little girl who live in the northern region of Malawi. He has not been able to see them for months now. There are two problems. The first is that Happy still owes his in-laws part of the dowry for their daughter. They have been married for a few years now, but he has been without work and unable to pay it off. Until he can pay the remaining amount, he cannot bring his family to live with him. The second is even when he does pay the dowry, it will be very expensive for him to bring them to Lilongwe.
Dan and I hoped to be able to pay off his debts and bring his family here to live with him. We just haven't figured it all out. We are afraid that once his family is living with him, he will not be able to provide for them. We leave in June and he has no job prospects.He already asks us for money for food. The point is, we just do not know what to do and how to help him and his family in the right way that will actually support them and not make things more difficult.
This morning, Happy came to me and told me that his little girl is in the hospital. She was hit by a car yesterday morning. He says she is not okay and that her leg and I think her entire right side of her little body is badly hurt. I know it isn't at all my fault that this happened, but I cannot help but think that it wouldn't have happened had we just given Happy money to bring his family here sooner.

When you hire someone here in Malawi, you take them on like family. You are responsible for wedding and funeral costs for them and their family members. You pay for their children's school fees and clinic bills. It is a good thing to take care of your employees here as they really do depend on you. But this week has been full of extra costs for us. As well, it's been emotionally draining. Please pray for us. We need wisdom. We need strength to help carry the burdens of our workers and dear friends. Please please pray for Christina and Happy. I cannot imagine the stress they must be feeling with such sickness and family issues while also having no means to take care of them.

Lastly, as Dan and I talk about our own needs as we are rapidly approaching our departure date, I cannot help but feel guilty about the way we discuss money. I know that we are trying to be wise and careful over the next few months. I just do not want "wisdom" to get in the way of helping our friends. I want to be able to give freely and not worry about what I will eat or drink tomorrow. We have never been without. That truth is more and more confusing to me as I see so many people here living without. I do not want to be angry with God. I know that he cares for his creation and I have seen Him provide for others through His provisions for our family. These things just bring me into a place of frustration and confusion. Please pray that Dan and I would trust in the Lord for ALL things, even these things which we cannot control. We know that God is good and that He is in control. He is our rock and our refuge. If He is for us, who can be against us?

Please pray for Happy

I want to ask all of our readers to pray for our gardener Happy. He was robbed two nights ago by four men in his village, one of them is his neighbor. I know Happy's financial situation. He had no money to give to the men and so they beat him up and took all the food that was in his house, probably very little. He is working with the police to catch the men, but is worried, as am I. See, his neighbor who was involved has a pregnant wife with 3 children. If he is caught, he will be sent to Maula prison. I know far too well that it might be for life as cases get lost and prisoners forgotten.

This is really difficult. I believe in justice and I know that what these four men did to Happy is wrong. Happy himself is working to save money so that he can send for his wife and 3 year old. He hasn't seen them in months. I get angry thinking about these men taking all that Happy has and beating him in his own home. I also worry for the families of these men. I know that they would only do such a thing if they were desperate themselves. Now, their wives and children will struggle while they serve at Maula prison. My heart is heavy with these terrible situations that happen often here.

Please pray with me. Pray for Happy, that he will be encouraged and supported by us and that the police will help him. Also pray for these four men and their families. Really, I am just praying that Christ will come back soon. Seeing so much poverty and injustice here has really taught me to long for Christ's return when all wrongs will be made right and all will bow down before the one true God. Until then, I trust that God is in control. He knows all of our needs and He will care for Happy and this situation with His infinite wisdom.

Right around the corner

We leave Malawi in exactly 2 months. I am beginning to get a little sentimental. I used to complain about waking up to the smell of fire, but lately, I've been enjoying it. Yes, it's very strange, but it's the smell of Malawi and I know in a short time, I will be so far from this place, from this home. There are many many unknowns when it comes to our little family's future. I often get stressed just thinking about all that needs to get done between now and August. Dan and I are still working on making huge decisions. There is so much we just do not know. Please pray for us as we prepare for yet another move across the world. Pray that God would give us peace both about the things He has revealed to us and those which He is waiting to reveal to us concerning our future. We need patience and peace, so much of it.

One of the most encouraging things over the last month has been your overwhelming support. We received our financial report for the month of March and were just astonished by all of the generosity and care many of you have shown to us. We know that ministry, especially missions, is a partnership. Missions is the work of the church, not individuals. We know that many wish they could go but for many reasons cannot. We wish we could support and send but the Lord in His infinite wisdom has chosen not to bless us in that way. I do believe that God works it out so that everyone is stretched. The goer and the sender both are stretched by God, and we are both reminded of His faithfulness in our different places. He is so good to use us all in His work. I just wanted to stop to thank those who have answered to His call to send. We would not be here, and SO many missionaries would not be where they are, doing what they do if no one was willing to send them.

We have begun counting down the days until our departure. Sometimes with excitement and sometimes with sadness. We have also started to keep track of how much we need and how much we have raised. Please pray with us as we trust in the Lord to provide for us financially. Praise God with us as we watch it come in (look to the right of the posts). So far, we have paid off more than half of our plane tickets!!!

And now for some images of Malawi I know I won't find while back in the States.

Stalks of Maize piled up and ready to be burned.

Corn husks drying on the roof tops

The ants go marching 5 by 5..... we call them army ants as they really are marching in a line. They make a very loud hissing sound as they travel along. So cool and yet kind of scary.

There are so many things I will miss about Malawi, but that is for another post altogether.

Easter Sunday?

Dan and I have been talking all week about how it doesn't feel like Easter. Our church here in Lilongwe doesn't emphasize the church calendar, but our churches back home do. There is usually a lot of buildup with extra services as we approach Christmas and Easter. But here in Malawi, it seems to just sneak up on you. It has been good, though. I am thankful for our churches back home and the importance they place on focusing and preparing for these special times, but it has also been good being without all of that. It has really put the responsibility on the individual to prepare your heart during quiet times of prayer and mediation. Either way, whether I am here or there, Easter is by far my favorite 'holiday'/time of the year. I usually don't do a lot of reflecting on January 1st. I do a little more reflecting on my birthday, but on Easter Sunday, I am able to look back on my life and reflect on my walk with the Lord, which I believe began on Easter Sunday 2003 (although I believe too that I have belonged to God all the days of my life). This Easter was yet another wonderful time to stop and remember God's faithfulness to me over the years. I love to look back and see how very very far the Lord has brought me.

Although it wasn't what I was used to, our Easter Sunday service was wonderful. The kids led us in a song complete with hand motions. It was adorable.

This is our church nursery. There are only about 4 kids under the age of 2. A really nice lady brings a blanket and a bucket of toys from her house and just sets up right outside the entrance to the church. It's great because the babies can play while we can still hear the sermon.

Our friend Owen had to intervene a few times to make sure the boys were sharing.
Eli's Easter outfit

Doesn't he look like a little man in that button down?

We had an amazing Lunch after church with our friends on campus. Eli had an amazing time with their dog, Dolly.

We leave for Zomba tomorrow and will be gone until Friday. With grading, taxes and catching up on laundry, we haven't seen much of each other lately. Please pray that it will be a restful time for our family as it is our first getaway since November.

Clarification

So, as you can imagine, I have gotten more comments and emails about my comment concerning the government making a law that each family should adopt. Yes, I am dramatic, especially when I am talking about an issue I am passionate about and while I am feeling emotional about that subject. I really should learn to wait until the emotions calm down before writing (or saying) things too dramatically. Well, lesson learned. Of course I think forcing all families to do one certain thing is ridiculous. Adoption (and family planning in general) is a very personal thing, and there is no way any government could make one choice that would be good for each individual family.
I guess I just wanted to make the point that I think it is a much more serious issue than most people realize. As well, I really wish that the government (U.S. and others) wouldn't make it so difficult to place these children in loving homes. Again, I also wanted to make the point that I have no personal problem with Madonna wanting to adopt. Many people have judged her and made claims they cannot possibly back up. My latest posts were not about being mad at Madonna for wanting to adopt from Malawi (or at all for that matter). I am just really frustrated about the way she has gone about it, making it much more difficult for others to adopt here in Malawi, when she has the opportunity to bring about real change.

Madonna follow up

Thank you to those of you who commented or emailed me with your thoughts. It is just good for me to hear other opinions and to really see what other people think about the issue of over seas adoptions and celebrity adoptions.

If you have kept up on the BBC articles following the story, you have probably also read the comments left here on the BBC News website. Many of the people commenting are frustrated that Madonna is being criticized for wanting to adopt again. Many think that she is doing a good thing by wanting to help out a child in need, providing someone for her son David to relate to, and is raising awareness. And like many of you, others brought up their concern for the adopted children growing up outside of their culture.

I agree that Madonna should not be criticized for wanting to adopt internationally. I believe in adoption so much that I think it should be the law for each family to adopt. Yeah, kind of intense... but do you have any idea how many orphans there are in Malawi, not to mention the world??? Do you have any idea the impact anyone could have on a person's life by giving them a home? Especially Christians-come on! This is a terrible thing! I just wish it wasn't SO expensive and difficult to adopt.

The issue of culture is one that you could argue with any family who has moved outside of it's own culture while having small children. I am not worried for little David (Madonna's first adopted child from Malawi) that he will grow up outside of his home. Missionary, military and expat kids do it all the time! People move around the world with their families and no one is arguing with them on the decision they have made to take their children out of their culture...in my opinion, that is not a necessary argument. But let me say this-while being away from my own home and culture, I have come to see the importance in preserving one's culture but also being taught the skills to thrive anywhere. Being Malawian will be David's heritage, but his culture will be whatever he is brought up in, probably England, and that is okay.

My biggest issue with Madonna's first adoption (and now the second) is the way in which she has gone about it. In one of the articles, Madonna herself said that "This adoption (David's adoption) essentially was the beginning of the creation of adoption laws in Malawi. I am the template or the role model so to speak for future adoptions." This quote makes me absolutely mad! There are adoption laws in Malawi, believe me. Madonna has said numerous times that she will not overlook any laws and will do everything according to the laws. Well, In 2006, Malawi bypassed it's laws banning adoptions by non-residents in granting Madonna the adoption of David. I am afraid that Madonna's fame and fortune is actually hurting the laws that are currently in place and has made it harder for others to adopt in Malawi.

Taken from this article "The chairman of the Human Rights Consultative Committee, Undule Mwakusunguraof has accused Madonna of acting "like a bully" saying: "She has the money and the status to use her profile to manipulate, to fast-track the process." "

It seems that she will be doing this a second time around while adopting little Chifundo. Unless Madonna moves to Malawi and stays for 18 months while going through the fostering program with Chifundo before the adoption, she is breaking the law. Of course, people say that it is up to the Malawian court to make sure that the laws are obeyed...

"Madonna has been good to us," Information Minister Patricia Kaliati told news agency Reuters. "Very few rich and famous people can take time to fly all the way to Malawi to support our children. We support her adoption process." "[Madonna] is supporting over 25,000 orphans in this country and she has proved that she can take care of David," she added."

It is clear that Madonna's fame and fortune have helped her to get what she wants the easy way. I do not doubt her love for David and her heart for adoption. I cannot be the judge of that. I also feel strongly called to adopt and have held many baby orphans in my arms over the past 1 1/2 years. I know the overwhelming sense of responsiblity that I think many more people should feel to adopt. It is a very important thing and I strongly urge others to consider. However, I also know many families here who have gone through a lot to know the joy of holding a child in their arms that they can call their own after waiting for 18 months and following adoption laws here. If Madonna really wants to be the "role model" or "template" for adoptions in Malawi, she should work with law makers to make it easier for everyone to adopt here. She really could do so much to change things, but instead her efforts are selfish.

One last thing-it is very common here in Malawi for children to be put in an orphanage (or places like the MOH Crisis Nersury) for a time, not with the intention of being put up for adoption. In many cases, the child's mother has died and the relatives cannot take care of the child at that immediate moment, usually not being able to provide formula or medical care. I think this is what happened with little David Banda.

It is also very common for such children to be reunited with their families after they have grown a bit and become stronger health wise. Madonna should never have adopted David while his father was still there to care for him. It seems as though she took advantage of someone else's misfortune and pain. If she wanted what was best for David, she would have sponsered his father (not with millions, but just providing basic needs in an appropriate way) so that the family could stay together. Of course, it is no wonder that David's father finally gave in to the adoption, given the amount of pressure and money there was in the whole deal. Like I said earlier, Madonna does have the resources and the fame to change things for the better, to fight for the good of these children and to invest in Malawi's future as a nation. I am afraid I do not think she is concerned about this and that is what saddens me about the whole thing.

Notice anything different?

No we didn't redecorate and I didn't get a new hair cut. I am referring to the differences between Malawi and America. You're probably thinking "duh Bethany", but I would like to seriously draw your attention to the some of the differences between these two countries. These are by no means in any certain order of importance...they are just some of the many that caught my attention.

Major difference #1:
Life expectancy in America at birth-78 years
Life expectancy in Malawi at birth-43 years

Major difference #2:
Americans living with HIV/AIDS-1.2 million
HIV/AIDS deaths-22,000
Malawians living with HIV/AIDS-930,000
HIV/AIDS deaths-68,000

Major difference #3:
American literacy rate of total population-99%
Malawian literacy rate of total population-62.7%

Major difference #4:
American electricity consumption rate-3.89 trillion kWh
Malawian electricity consumption rate-1.5 billion kWh

Major difference #5:
American television broadcast systems- 2,218
Malawi television broadcast systems- 1

As you can see, there are other differences between these two countries besides the food, weather and spoken languages. I only focused on five out of hundreds that can be found on the CIA World Factbook website. You could spend all day learning more about the differences between America and Malawi.

What surprises me is how much both of these places can feel like home. They both have wonderful things about them, as well as major downsides. It is easy to build up America in my head, especially when it's a bad day without water or electricity or diesel at the fill station. It is also easy to build up Malawi in my head when I am back in the states, being bombarded with advertisements and consumerism and the overall fast pace of life and pressure for achievement. I am thankful to have been given the opportunity to experience different ways of life. I am also thankful for the many blessings and privileges I have just because I was born in America. Most of all, I am thankful that neither of these places is really my home. I look forward to being in my eternal home, the one where I get to be in my savior's presence and enjoy Him forever. I can hardly imagine what that perfect home will be like!

Another visit to Matapila

Our friend Megan has a team visiting from Oregon. We helped transport them out to Matapila village yesterday after church. I was excited for the opportunity to see Joseph and Gift (and all of the children of course). My last visit was when I helped transport the Green Lake team out there back in September. (click on the "Ministry of Hope" label to see previous trips taken to Matapila)

Capturing Malawi on our way to the village:

Slow down! Road work ahead!

A hazy view of the mountains

The roads weren't half as bad as we expected. I guess they are worse at the beginning of the rainy season.

All of the orphans at the feeding centers are doing well, both in Katondo and Matapila. Daniel, who works in the Ministry of Hope office was telling me of their financial problems. It's amazing how much the economic state of America directly affects the financial state and economy of many organizations around the world. I have been praying for America, mostly that people will be able to keep jobs and homes and such, but lately, my prayer is that Americans will learn to live with less. It's crazy how much Americans have that they don't need. Of course, having things that you don't need isn't a sin. I'm not saying that. What I am saying is that we often confuse wants with needs. I am most guilty of this, i.e. the gray couch. I want something so badly that it actually feels like an urgent need. How ridiculous!!! I pray now that in this time of economic instability, we can learn how to differentiate between our wants and our needs. Hopefully, this will leave us with extra spending cash to give away. Yes, just to give away to whatever you heart desires, or whatever the Lord's heart desires.

Let's put it this way-I challenge you this week, our faithful readers, to not buy something you REALLY want but don't need and to give that same amount of money you would have spent to let's say, Ministry of Hope. You could give it to your church's deacon fund or to a family you know who is struggling more than your family. The choice is yours.

That said, this is what I managed to capture while wrestling the camera out of Elijah's hands.

Remember Ernest? He's gotten so big! I think he was about 4 years old when I first met him in 2005.

Joseph and Elijah, old friends

All of us with some MOH kids

Eli and the kids
We are waiting in the car while Megan says goodbye to her team.




The beauty that is Malawi

Not the baby you thought he was....

I got an email from a friend the other day. We were discussing our new issues with our suddenly rebellious babies, sharing ideas of how to discipline and just laughing at how quickly their attitudes can change. We also noted that each other's baby looks perfectly cute and happy on our blogs. This made me want to share with you the other side of Elijah. We all know it's there, and people around us are seeing more and more of it as Elijah grows into his "independence". About 40% of our day is spent either trying to avoid or dealing with a difficult moment. I just have to keep telling myself to be consistent! I refuse to be one of those parents who are good at threatening the child with a punishment (even a small one) but then don't follow through. It's either all or nothing and I've decided I'm gonna go all out. The hardest thing for me, though is chosing when to discipline. Sometimes, Elijah is really just sad that he can't have an object (like the power cord or a sharpie) and I want to be sensitive to that. I certainly don't want to teach him that he has to be happy all the time. That would really mess him up! Plus, y'all know how fussy I got when Dan's bike got stollen and my dream of having a new gray couch flew out the window. My couch is Elijah's power cord and I need to remember that. However, I also need to remember that it is not okay to start screaming, pulling hair and throwing your head back when you can't have the power cord (or the gray couch for that matter!). All of this just really makes me appreciate my mother SO much. The record books show that I was an extremely difficult baby, throwing huge tantrums and often hurting myself in the process. I guess the saying is true- what goes around comes around.


What Elijah is trying to say is that he is all done, except he is refusing to do the sign for it and would rather fuss instead.



And now I will share some cutie moments with Eli, because after all, I am his mother and no matter how fussy he can be at times, Elijah is still my sweet little guy. Here he is, standing up in his crib.

So proud!
Getting into that cupboard again....

Elijah waves hello and talks to his friend Ezra on the computer. It's really just a picture of Ez, but it's good enough for Eli.

I have to say that I love my new job. Being a mom is the best way I could spend my time. Although I have had a rough transition into motherhood (mainly letting go of my dreams and identity as an individual) I feel like I was made for this job. Plus, my identity is in Christ and that cannot change no matter what happens in life. That is what gives me the freedom to give up all else and to do what He has called me to do at any moment, with joy. Oh, I just love this little chub of a guy.